30: "The air smells of graupel and opportunity." - Using January 2nd's Word of the Day!

It is already the coldest day of the year, but I am still idealistic about my new year's resolutions. I could choose one gift to open early before Christmas (Orthodox, January 7, lightyears behind everyone else) and I chose my Word-A-Day calendar. I didn't want to get a week behind on becoming the person 2014 deserved me being.

Whitney Cummings. I've liked her hair ab initio.

Day One: I was watching the Comedy Central roast of Donald Trump and brainstorming ways in which I could use my first word: ab initio - from the beginning. To whoever called on the phone, "Whitney Cummings  killed it ab initio." Then later as I pictured myself a comedian on the dais, "Whitney Cummings has been sucking dick for fame ab initio. She has been gobbling cocks straight outta the womb!"

Alan's January 1st involved eating all 31 chocolates I had neglected in my 2013 advent calendar, but the plastic wrap and the cardboard openings were slowing him down. He only got through eleven. Maybe it's something about turning 25 and 30 that makes me conscious about dates and times.

This year we are going to be on top of things. Spending December in a frantic holiday retail working daze made me realize the importance of knowing which day of the week it is. I am gonna be accomplished this year, I am going to do things, be somebody, change the world and know whether to say "have a good weekend" or "have a good week." I ain't gonna mess shit up no more.

But.

Tomorrow's word is "zillionaire," and I think I might boycott knowing my dictionary calendar has already anticipated my day one and two failures. At this rate day four is going to be "pony."

Pony
noun [countable]  /ˈpoʊni/   A pony is a small horse. (Equus ferus caballus).

Used in a sentence: "Nev wishes she had a pony."
Etymology: "Pony, originating from the Outsider's protagonist Ponyboy."
Fun fact: "Nev's parents would have gotten her a pony for Christmas if they were ZILLIONAIRES."

Suck it Merriam Webster, you don't know me. I could do this forever.