26: Lolz

I am so excited to finish my Masters applications just so that I can finish reading the Jessica Darling young adult series. This is my life. I am okay with that. I promised I would finish one more today and that it what I am going to do now. I am going to take control of my destiny! Or something.

Also, as soon as I finish one I am allowing myself to go to Indigo with Alan to get my Christmas gift. I want Chuck Klosterman's new book, even though his novels are terrible, the new issue of Fables and a book about dinosaurs, something legit educational but also with awesome photos. We'll see what I end up getting. I wish I was one of those people who are really good at buying people gifts, but I'm really terrible. I think I've given out two gifts so far. My fallback excuse being "well, my Christmas is January 7th. How awesome would it be to celebrate then instead?".

Pop Culture Addictions December 2011

Teen Mom 2 Season 2:

Jenelle laid charges against Keiffer for domestic abuse and it's a truly emotional scene, I'm sure, but all I can focus on is the hideous flip flop and socks combination. I'm not one to talk, my birkenstock love is so great that the tiger striped birkenstock tanlines on my feet haven't faded yet, but really. Is this socially acceptable? I guess if you're going to jail for domestic abuse people already hate you and appropriate footwear isn't going to do any good.

Joe Gilgun

When Robert Sheehan left Misfits I was uberbummed, but when Joe Gilgun joined I forget about him. It didn't help that his goodbye cyber clip about Las Vegas was lame. Joe Gilgun is fabulous (I wish that swastika wasn't in this picture though).  After Misfits I watched all of This Is England, even though there are scenes that are incredibly hard to watch. 

I just love scenes of people becoming friends and bonding and being adorable, even if they're skinheads and several of them are terrible racists. In similar news, I now have several skinhead autobiographies on hold at the library and the librarians probably think I am a white supremecist. It's the same feeling I had when my friend and I were at the library doing research for essays and the stack of books next to her were about Nazis and the KKK while all of mine were about black baptist churches and had titles like "spiritual american coloureds".


Final Destination Movies

It won't let me embed, but it's an amazing opening. It acknowledges the previous three movies and gets you hyped for more ridiculous deaths!

Ignore the fact that I am 500 years behind on this trend. I watched the first one when it came out, but Devon Sawa wasn't in the rest of them so I never had a reason to continue. Well I finally did and I loved them. In the same way that I love Scream, except less, because I like happy endings. They're campy, they're ridiculous, but they're not really scary. It's exactly the type of "horror" movie I like: silly, fun, attractive people, several nineties fav actors and other recognizable actors before they really are recognizable/only recognizable to people who watch disney channel movies about mermaids or Pretty Little Liars (I fall into both categories). However, the movies totally add to the list of things I am afraid to do because of the implausible ways in which I could die:

1. laser eye surgery? no thank you, i will get a monocle when old righty really gives out.
2. one of those knife blocks? no thank you, plus they are crazy full of bacteria and HOW DO EVER YOU CLEAN THEM?
3. airplanes? aww sheeit.  i will continue with my airplane anxiety meds, since a transatlantic boat ride is even scarier. 

Pop Culture Things I Still Hate or Have Started to Hate December 2011

People in any way supporting Roman Polanski

tv: christoph waltz: blah blah blah blah hilarious stoic blah blah
nev: oh i like him
tv: christoph waltz: well, working with roman polanski is a blessing.
nev: nope, done. change the channel.
alan: what?
nev: done done, roman polanski can suck my balls. i'll watch his movies when he does his jail time.

I can't get past it and I don't want to. I don't want to listen to anything he has to say or anything about him. I don't want to hear actors waxing poetically about him. I don't care about his movies or his problems. He can sit the fuck down. 
I can't get past people's private lives to see their work. I'm sure if media was more present in the past I wouldn't be able to stand Roald Dahl, as it is I still can't help thinking "oh, but you said that thing about Hitler and all the anti-semitism and I don't know about that, but Sophie Dahl is so endearing, i like her."

(Hitler quote in question: In 1983, Dahl was quoted as saying: "There's a trait in the Jewish character that does provoke animosity ... I mean there is always a reason why anti-anything crops up anywhere; even a stinker like Hitler didn't just pick on them for no reason.")

Seriously, it's getting to the point where I don't want to watch anything Johnny Depp's in. I understand that people give interviews to promote their movies, but it's getting to the point where they're doing the opposite:

"You wanna watch the new Johnny Depp movie? You won't after you see this new interview of him hating on america, but not wanting to pay France's taxes and making insulting comparisons to rape! Stay tuned!"

The Time Traveller's Wife

The only good thing about this book is I can imagine a situation where a child would be like

"Man, wouldn't time travelling be awesome?"
"Would it? Read the time travellers wife."
(This could also just be because I am a terrible babysitter. Yesterday I tried to convince a child that a city 17 hours away from us was further than the moon. This works very well with politie children, who think disagreeing with their elders is rude so they say "hmm, I don't think so, but I will google it later to see.")

I feel like Audrey Niffenegger just wanted to write a book about sexual exploration. It's not a love story. Was I stupid in expecting it was one?

My dislike in four bullet points:

1. Henry's backstory with his mother was lovely and the idea of him time-travelling and getting to know his dead mother through minute, everyday interactions was a thrilling idea, but instead more of the focus was on the type of sexual propabilites that drunk people converse about:
"Yo, yo, if you could time travel back to your past self, would you have sex with him or would that be gay?"
"If I cheat on you with you, is it cheating or is it awesome?"
"Dude, dude, when are you a paedo and when is it like 'it's cool guys, she's my future wife' "
<B>Answer:</b> I think you're still a paedo, this seems like an argument fundamentalist mormons in those culty campsites make.
2. Everything being cyclical makes everything too easy and boring:
a) They fall in love by telling eachother that they are already in love in the future, which means I didn't get to see characters falling in love.
b) Henry ruins every fun experience by being like "I know, we're house shopping, but this isn't the house that we end up buying" and (I can only imagine) "Really? Do those earrings really go with that shirt? Cause I saw a picture of tonight four years from now and you're totally wearing studs."
3. Henry is so obnoxious; I know you're a librarian and shit and you can't watch television like the rest of us, but the things that come out of that character's mouth are annoying as all hell:
"The geneticist looked like D.H. Lawrence."  Really? Cause alongside John Steinbeck, D.H. Lawrence was one of the studliest authors (I might be alone in this opinion) and you're not really describing that. Plus... I can't even do a plus, I'm frustrated.
"I was so embarrassed reciting Rilke in front of the doctors and nurses. They probably think I'm a pussy." Because you are a pussy. Am I supposed to believe he was a womanizer reciting Rilke to chicks? Oh shit, a punk rock librarian. I'm unimpressed.

4. The woman portrayed as constantly waiting around for the man; particularly the last page. So disheartening, pre-Victorian.

Unforunately, I still want to see the movie, because after Chopper I want to see everything Eric Bana does. This list can't be doing wonders for my credibility.

This is depressing so I'll leave with a movie recommendation: A Film With Me In It.
Two reasons:
1. Dylan Moran
2. It's pretty much a movie version of 13 Dead End Drive (the boardgame).

"Is he dead because you did a murder?"