30: "The air smells of graupel and opportunity." - Using January 2nd's Word of the Day!

It is already the coldest day of the year, but I am still idealistic about my new year's resolutions. I could choose one gift to open early before Christmas (Orthodox, January 7, lightyears behind everyone else) and I chose my Word-A-Day calendar. I didn't want to get a week behind on becoming the person 2014 deserved me being.

Whitney Cummings. I've liked her hair ab initio.

Day One: I was watching the Comedy Central roast of Donald Trump and brainstorming ways in which I could use my first word: ab initio - from the beginning. To whoever called on the phone, "Whitney Cummings  killed it ab initio." Then later as I pictured myself a comedian on the dais, "Whitney Cummings has been sucking dick for fame ab initio. She has been gobbling cocks straight outta the womb!"

Alan's January 1st involved eating all 31 chocolates I had neglected in my 2013 advent calendar, but the plastic wrap and the cardboard openings were slowing him down. He only got through eleven. Maybe it's something about turning 25 and 30 that makes me conscious about dates and times.

This year we are going to be on top of things. Spending December in a frantic holiday retail working daze made me realize the importance of knowing which day of the week it is. I am gonna be accomplished this year, I am going to do things, be somebody, change the world and know whether to say "have a good weekend" or "have a good week." I ain't gonna mess shit up no more.

But.

Tomorrow's word is "zillionaire," and I think I might boycott knowing my dictionary calendar has already anticipated my day one and two failures. At this rate day four is going to be "pony."

Pony
noun [countable]  /ˈpoʊni/   A pony is a small horse. (Equus ferus caballus).

Used in a sentence: "Nev wishes she had a pony."
Etymology: "Pony, originating from the Outsider's protagonist Ponyboy."
Fun fact: "Nev's parents would have gotten her a pony for Christmas if they were ZILLIONAIRES."

Suck it Merriam Webster, you don't know me. I could do this forever.

Going to Start Writing Something Every Week to Get Me Jumpstarted

I haven't decided what Skyfall is yet. I don't think it's a James Bond movie, but I'm torn between Batman, Harry Potter or a Home Alone.

That is all for now. Watch and agree.

28: Misogyny and Me: Television for the Masses!

I've been catching up on my television and it's got me feeling like I should stop catching up on the television I used to watch and just continue watching the Wire instead. It's the only show I'm watching right now that isn't disapointing.

It's just all the gosh-darn misogyny. Jane Krakowski is the best actor/actress on 30 Rock and yet Kenneth is getting more and more screen time . Over half what he says is woman-bashing, but it's okay he's from small-town Georgia! It's not okay. It's not even funny. It's like Pete 2.0 in disgustingness.

Next is the Big Bang Theory, which I've never watched before, but got dragged into by the awesome Barenaked Ladies theme song. (I love theme songs, even when marathoning dvds I do not fast-forward theme songs!) I cannot get past Raj's misogyny, but it's okay, because he has that hilarious selective mutism where he can't even talk to women! Hilarious. It's not okay. I should know better than to expect anything less offensive than Two and a Half Men from Chuck Lorre.

Then Skins season six. They just ruined any half-way decent female character they had. Even the ones that weren't so likeable just became fodder for male character development. Like Minnie and her relationship with Alo. I don't think "big dick" is enough to make up for paedophile.

I think I'm just going to give up on sitcoms (except Parks and Recreation) and borrow the Sopranos and the Shield from the library. Premium cable shows might be more emotional and upsetting but they're somehow less offensive and depressing. 

At the moment my big exception is Sons of Anarchy, which seems to create strong female characters just to pit them against each other or have them beat up and torn apart by the lame male characters. My personal favourite is when Jacks beat up a stripper because he and Opie both slept with her when they were in "monogomous" relationships. What a slut. That's totally her fault!!   

I was going to watch the new season of Sherlock, but I've heard plenty of bad things about it on this front too and I just can't handle any more now. Plus my darling boyfriend spoiled the end of the season for me because "you've read all the books, isn't that the same thing?" Balls.

Urgh, I just want to dance. Two days of "serious no gluten, nev, seriously!" and I'm cranky.